Poisonous Flower
by Hatake Kazumi
Summary: Because Kakashi had always love too much...The flower blooms fully in his heart, taking away his sanity and humanity. (And the world burned, the crows rejoiced, and the sky wept for the scarecrow is broken.)


**Warning:** Confusion over the plot, Inconsistency of past and present tense, Bad grammar, unsuitable use of words and sentences and scarecrow abuse.

**Author's Note:** This piece was written a long time ago, and I found it on my old laptop when I was transferring my stuff. It was already long, so I thought why not finish it? Mind you, I was fourteen or so when I wrote this so beware of plot inconsistency and bad grammar and vocabulary. I am confused myself when I read this so try not to decipher it too much less you got yourself a headache. Also, read my profile; I will explain my absence and why am I not updating my stories there.

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Kakashi could not help himself but let a sneer escapes his masked lips when he sees Naruto's orange-covered arm wrapping gingerly around Sakura's shoulder, almost like treasuring something utterly precious, like a golden goblet full of sparkling emeralds, all fragile and breakable to even the most foreign touch. He stands rigid behind them in the middle of the training field – the one that they would always used since they were a wholly team with Sasuke, to which they had done numerous activities together, like the bell training, prior and after the Uchiha's defection from the village. The grassy plain was a symbol of their team's time of happiness – before Orochimaru, before Akatsuki, before Madara, before the war, before_ everything_ – and it had also witnesses the bad moments.

Like now.

"Why Naruto?" Kakashi mutters with a low undertone, but loud enough for the blond to hear. He kicks up dust; it looks a small mushroom, like that of a nuclear bomb, threatening to take everything and everyone near in its wake. But even though it is dangerous, it is nothing to compare than the malice that dwells beneath the beautiful cerulean orbs when he turned around, a furious growl releases from gritted teeth.

"Why? WHY?" Naruto looks at him with disbelief, and Kakashi looks down to the ground, because the cerulean orbs were sharp and calculating; he shudders inwardly at the feeling of being exposed, even though jealousy and cynical blossomed deeply in his chest. "You still have the nerve to ask me that? You should know Sensei, after all," He gave a coyly smile while the pink-haired medic beside him looks away from the tension atmosphere that surrounds them all; she sighed, fully aware of the jounin's foul stare at them both.

"It's your fault that this team broke apart!" The almost-ecstatic jinchuuriki finished with a loud booming voice that echoes in the empty space of the training field, and Kakashi and Sakura flinched harshly at the volume; though Kakashi's was faster than her, and held a even more underneath meaning than hers. The wind noticeably picked up, and there no other sound than that of their slightly-quicken breathing.

The whole world is currently dead to the trio.

The silver-haired man's hand twitched with anger and feral rage, and he had the imposing urge to slap the young man in front of him with a chakra-enhanced punch – 'See, Naruto? She's not the only one who has the power to split open the earth until her hands dye red with crimson, and shattered trees into the sky like small twigs of wood.' – And he would have enjoyed the realization of pain across the handsome face. But he did not, he thought glumly later, chewing frustratingly on his upper lip with his canine teeth. Because, even though he doesn't like to admit it out loud:

He loves him.

He really loves him.

Love.

Love.

The emotion that you would only feel for that special someone in your life.

…

Ha, special.

'What a sick joke.'

Yes, they are special to you, but to them, are you significant enough to be reconsidered as a special person in their life? Someone that need to be protected from the harsh reality of the world? Someone that they cherished in both their heart and mind?

For Kakashi, it is always a no to that question.

Sure, he had feelings too, and he once felt something for Anko, but after he ignored it for quite some time, it went away, leaving behind a lonely jounin who knows next to nothing about emotions and –dare he says it – affections, for other individuals. Hell, he doesn't even know how to even love himself, and how could he love other people if he couldn't even do the simplest of task like that? Some people in the world are even known to be egoistic about their own selves and characteristics.

Why couldn't he?

He had dismissed that idiotic thought with a wave. Years and years and years of pure agony of being alone-

And he is done.

The Third had talked to him about it, with a sincere look on his wrinkled face, hands placed on top on the wooden table, talking to him in a tone of what he could describes as fatherly – he wasn't sure, he haven't have a real father for such a long time, and the short moment when Sakumo was not on a mission, he was busy with something, and Kakashi would always stay out of the house when he's at home, because he could not take in the deafening silence that threatened to swallow them both – and said that Kakashi need to find a permanent partner in life, to which the jounin would find happiness and tranquility that he deserves from him or her, have children that will carry on the Hatake legacy, and lives together forever and ever, bound by marriage.

"Fairytales," Kakashi had murmured, and the Third paused in his ministrations, before looking at his passive subordinate with a sad look –and Kakashi looked away, he could not stand pity- and with a well-worn sigh, dismissed him. Kakashi did so gladly.

The Old Man did not talk to him about it again, well until his demise at the hands of Orochimaru.

And Kakashi welcomes the ingratiating silence, as he continues to walk the path of life in darkness and blood. Mission after mission, day after day, minute after minute, he kills and shreds and cut and mutilates-

And Naruto came into his life.

The blond was like a little bouncing ball of sunshine, one that shines brightly and continuously even when you don't want it to. Kakashi was helpless against Naruto's positive influence as his world began to change around him –the sky stops looking droopy grey and the cold harsh winds inside his heart died down into soft breezes and most noticeably; the murderous whispers inside his head was drown out by the sunshine's loud exclamations of being the greatest ninja ever. Ultimately –ultimately- Kakashi was looking forward towards another day, one without bloodshed and mutilations and _pain_, and just…be himself. Being Hatake Kakashi. Being the true him that no one has seen ever since his father decided to grip the accursed tanto's blade and plunged it into his stomach, making blood and guts sprayed out in a gorily manner. Kakashi could still remember the smell of the liquid hanging in the air, the way the light faded away from his father's eyes, the way he, himself, grinned maniacally as he enjoyed it –the crimson flower blooming on the tatami mat was simply too beautiful to ignore.

Beautiful, but deadly too. Acting a poison to his heart.

The invisible poison continued to spread with each passing day, turning the already unstable boy into a murderer- and a damn good one too. His fingers wielded each blade like a professional, even though he was only young at the time, barely reaching ten, but age was only just a number in a shinobi's life. It's doesn't matter that the other kids his age was holding crayons instead of a weapon, it doesn't matter that the other kids was laughing and shrieking everyday when Kakashi doesn't remember what it felt like to have an ounce of happiness in his life, and it _certainly _doesn't matter when he watched the other kids ran into their parents' arms, when he, the great shinobi, was only a tool which purpose was to take human lives- like theirs.

His heart beats with the poison dancing inside.

And his body yearns to feel human blood coating its skin. And it feels so _good_ when it splashed against his face.

But when he was around Naruto, he didn't feel any of these. It was as if the blond was the long-searched antidote for the poison coursing inside of him, curing it, and Kakashi felt lost as his heart cleared and the darkness lifted from around his mind. It was as if the assassin living inside of him was gone, leaving behind a shell that was free to do anything it wishes, and God, Kakashi doesn't know what to do.

He was a tool, and tools take orders from others. They have no minds of their own, only instincts, instincts to survive this self-made hellhole, and act upon the wishes of others. But what would happen if those people cease to exist? What would happen to him then? What will he do? Could he really…act on his own? Without specific instuctions? To kill, cut or mutilates?

Could he really…love?

(Of course he can. But, the moment he tried to do so, Obito ended up dead six feet under, quite literally, and Rin later spat out mouthful of blood, eyes wide as her heart was pierced by lightning-coated hand. When he tried to love, someone ended up dead, and he no longer do so, as he feared that the poison would take him as its own. But eventually he realized that it was already too late a long time ago, for he was already a living carrier for the poisonous flower, a walking tool spreading hatred and misery for anywhere he went. People died, villages burned, monsters roared-

But with Naruto, wherever he goes, people lived, villages prospered, and monsters quieted.)

It was going to bring a calamity later on, but Kakashi does not care; the world can burn for all he care, for there is nothing more in this reality that can still anchor his sanity (and he went mad the moment Minato-sensei died, a bloody smile painted on his pale face like a mockery to him, for the man to die exactly the way he lived) and so, he says: "I love you."

A raging howl, and Kakashi smiles, before a devastating delivers itself to his face, sending him crashing into a tree. He coughs up red liquid, a familiar taste in his mouth like coppery water flooding his taste buds. A hand fisted in his hair, bringing him up, its other twin slapping and punching the jounin a dozen or two, before stopping. Kakashi blinks, glancing upwards, and grinned madly.

"Don't you dare utter those filthy words to me ever again, you scarecrow." Naruto whispers harshly, the title he uttered to the silver-haired man sounding like the filthiest of insults, even though it was the man's namesake. (For truly he is indeed, as Kakashi is nothing more than a tool, a puppet on strings, bending to his superiors 'wills. He chases the crows away, is thin and slender, and protects what is needed by killing and terrifying others. He is there watching, but people takes no notice, for the scarecrow can be easily replaced, that one day it will be gone, and another one will take its place. Until that day comes, the scarecrow will remain alone in the field, and nobody will miss him.)

"You do not deserve those words, sensei." Sakura says, standing behind Naruto, powerful hands on her hips. Her emerald eyes shifted, she is uncomfortable what Kakashi had just say, a look of disgust marring her perfect features, and Kakashi laughs loudly, cackling almost, under Naruto's bloodied claws, for he thinks that it is ironic that this simple, narrow-minded creature will one day becomes the Hokage's wife, the bearer of the next generation, and for a single fleeting moment, Kakashi fears for the future.

(They are still naïve, even though they liked to think otherwise. Naivety had no place in this world. It will be crushed, demolished into dust and helplessness, should it ever manifest itself on the battlefield. The poisonous flower will bloom everywhere corpses lay, and blood splattered.)

"Oh?" Kakashi hums, sounding almost content, even as blood flow down his face from an opened wound on his scalp. For a minute, Naruto's grips slackened, and Kakashi uses the opportunity to lap up his own blood through the soaked mask. It tasted quite delicious, his own misery. The rejection of his love, the disgusted reactions of his two former pupils…

The flower blooms completely.

He kicks Naruto hard in the stomach, knocking the Jinchuuriki flat onto his bottom with a rough grunt, while he flips away gracefully like the killer he was. Sakura tenses, but did not move.

Kakashi brushes away the dust on his flak jacket. Suddenly, he gasps, a hand gripping the material, to where his heart lays. He shivers violently. Darkness begins to cloud his mind.

"Grg-gh..argh." He gritted out through clenched teeth.

Naruto frowns, as he watches his former teacher from a few metres away, having his own spasm attacks. He stands in front of the pink-haired medic, covering her from the silver-haired man's view as he takes out a kunai, the edges worn and jagged but still sharp enough to sever arteries and cut flesh. He prepares himself for a battle but he instead heard a chuckle, before Kakashi's body went slack, eyes blank and disinterested. His hands fell limp as his side.

The silver-haired jounin raises his head and looks at them and it unnerved Naruto a bit to see not a single emotion on his face. There was neither anger, sadness nor the slight madness the Hatake had shown earlier. In fact, there was nothing at all.

Kakashi moves towards them, slowly but with purpose, and both Naruto and Sakura flinched and readied themselves for whatever hell may come, and was rendered confused when the jounin simply waked past them, half-lidded eyes staring forward completely without even a single glance at the unmoving pair. A couple of footsteps later before Sakura calls out almost hesitantly, "Kakashi?"

The man stopped.

"Where are you going? We still have matters to settle between us, you stupid scarecrow." Naruto glowered, eyes bleeding into crimson. The Idiot had the nerve to just walk away after doing what he had done? After breaking their team apart? After almost hurting Sakura? After saying such nonsense about his supposedly love for the blond?

Kakashi just stare at them, silent.

"Say something, you asshole!" Naruto lost it, summoning a clone so he could do a Rasengan, the ball of chakra swirling so violently in his hand it was a tornado, delivering harsh vortex of wind that made their hair and clothes flapping urgently against their own bodies. The sky turns dark, as if a storm was brewing. The leaves of the surrounding trees danced wildly to the rhythm of Naruto's wind chakra. The howls of the air were so loud Sakura had to cover her ears from the thunderous sounds, eyes squinting. Grasses ruffled, swaying and dancing.

"It hurts…"

Naruto blinks. "What…?"

Though his eyes were still dull and blank, Kakashi's hand moved back to grip the front of his olive jacket, to where his heart is, as tightly as if he were in pain. Voice hushed and small, he stated matter-of-factly his long strings of words. "The flower had bloomed fully in my heart, for once it was dormant, but now it is not. Spreading poison through my veins, it wields me completely, for I am its tool, and as a tool, I must kill, and to kill, I must obey orders to cut, mutilates and slash. It causes me pain, agonizing pain, but now it is numb; I could no longer feel anything, but the need to carry out my orders. And my orders are to kill."

Sakura and Naruto are speechless, for they heard nothing sane coming from the mouth of Konoha's strongest jounin, lest a human being. Naruto shook his head and says, "But should you carry out your orders of murdering others, should you not cease to become a human? Should you not feel guilt and remorse for killing man, woman and the like? To spill their blood on the ground mercilessly like one would do to an animal? Like a machine? Should you not feel…?" The blond gulped. "…love?"

A bitter smile blossomed on the older man's face. His hand continued to grip his chest. "I am a tool. Since I was born, I am nothing more than that. Should I learn how to love, many will be killed. I am not a human being, as I am an efficient killing machine, and trying to defy that is useless. No matter what I do, my purpose is to take the lives of others on the order of my superiors. Should I try to connect, I will break. Should I try to reach out for hope, despair will find me instead. Alas, I cannot run from my destiny, and if it is indeed my destiny to become a tool for killing, then so be it. I shall become one, and emotions are not needed in this line of work, so I will discharged them, for the sake of my sanity, should I have any left. I shall become a killer, a murderer, to detain this poisonous flower growing inside of me from reaching the outside world. I will die keeping this venom inside of me. And I will die as a pariah because of it."

The rasengan dispersed into nothingness. In a blink of an eye, Naruto was across the other side of the plain, his hands gripping Kakashi's shoulders so tightly his knuckles turned white, a serious look in his darkened cerulean orbs. He shook the scarecrow, as if to ground his mind from escaping into oblivion, as if to stop the mechanical, cold, plaintive voice from sprouting any more insane words that threaten to swallow their very part of humanity. He shook the scarecrow, and let out words of his own.

"What nonsense are you sprouting now? Denying you are human, you think you are but a tool? Who do you think you are, to reject your own emotions? To ignore your mistakes that you had made? What about that loving me nonsense earlier that you sprouted? What had brought upon these changes upon you, Kakashi? What had happened in your heart that led your humanity to cease in the last few minutes?"

Naruto trembled from where he stands, for he could no longer control the fear seeping into his mind. Fear for the jounin that seem to have lost his sanity and humanity. "…Look, Kakashi. If this is cause by my rejection of your love, and the burden that you carried from the loss of our team, then I am sorry for triggering this. I am sorry for I cannot accept that earlier, and trying to blame you, so please come back from insanity. I can… I can even accept your love, and forgive you. So please…" His nails dug even further into Kakashi's clothes, piercing the skin. "…COME BACK."

Kakashi continued to stare at Naruto with that blank gaze of his, even as he released himself from Naruto's hold. He tilted his head, for he had no love for the blond in front of him, as he is incapable of doing so, for he was a tool and what are these mistakes that the blond was talking about? He had no remembrance, no recognition at all for the handsome man in front of him, nor the pink-haired woman far behind in the field. Something twitches in his chest, but the flower soaks it up, numbing it. "I am sorry, shinobi, but who are you? I do not love, for I am unable to do so. You are the one in insanity, shinobi, for thinking that I could love, in love with someone that I had not met before in my entire life. I had no team, for all of them died long ago, and I had not taken another. I had only the village to serve, and my duties to attend to. And so, I repeat, who are you?"

And the world shattered into a thousand pieces.

(And his love for Naruto became his downfall, for Naruto is not the antidote for the venom in his heart, but a catalyst speeding up his journey into madness of killing and mutilations. Because Kakashi has always love so much, and he had never handled rejections and his mistakes so well before. And so, the sacrifice is him, for the last time. The world burned, the crows rejoiced, and the sky wept for the scarecrow is broken.)

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**Author's Note: **

So basically, Kakashi was hurting so much because Naruto rejected him over Sakura, and being reminded of his mistakes a lot he blocked his memories of Team 7. I think, Kakashi is the type of person that always love so much, and the effect is devastating if it backfires on him. Hence, his long feeling of guilt over the demise of Team Minato and Team Kakashi. So, yeah…


End file.
